SESSION 10 (2023)
LEG 1 (5/22-6/4)
READING
Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Chapter 3: The Day Alone
The Way of the Heart by Henri Nouwen
Prologue
Chapter 1: Solitude
Chapter 2: Silence
PREPARING
Read Psalm 46
Watch or listen to “Silence & Solitude” from Psalm 46 from the Spiritual Rhythms of the Psalms series from February 2023.
REFLECTING
Reflect on the following questions regarding the reading, writing an approximately one page (12 point, double spaced) reflection paper for each question (feel free to write more!) and share with your formation group:
In Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes, “Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. Let him who is not in community beware of being alone.” (p78) After reading Chapter 3, what do you believe Bonhoeffer means with this warning? Reflect on how you are currently experiencing both “the day with others” and “the day alone” in your life. What does this warning bring to light about your pursuit of community and expectations of community - as well as your pursuit (or avoidance) of solitude?
In The Way of the Heart, Henri Nouwen writes, “The words flee, be silent, and pray summarize the spirituality of the desert. They indicate the three ways of preventing the world from shaping us in its image and are thus the three ways to life in the Spirit.” (p15) How is the noise and chaos of our world currently shaping you in its own image? How does this image differ from the image of Christ? How might these other sources of supposed “truth” that are influencing you negatively impacting your love for God and love for others?
PRACTICING
This session is all about practicing silence and solitude, stretching our comfortability with extended periods of silence. Each week you will be setting aside one extended period of silence:
Leg 1: At least 10 minutes of continues silence, once each week
Leg 2: At least 15 minutes of continues silence, once each week
Leg 3: At least 20 minutes of continues silence, once each week
Use the following structure for your time:
1. PREPARE for your time in silence with God by grabbing your phone, a journal, and a pencil. Find a quiet, comfortable spot where you can sit in silence and solitude. Set your timer for the determined amount of time. Then take three deep breaths in, inhaling and exhaling slowly, calming the chaos, quieting the noise, and allowing your body to relax. As distractions enter your mind (not if, but when), acknowledge the thought, jot it down in your journal (just a couple of words so you remember later), release it, and return to God.
2. PRAY over your time, marking your entrance into this time with God, opening yourself to God, by praying Ted Loder’s prayer “Gather me to be with you” from his book Guerrillas of Grace (this can be found on page 7 of Invitation to Solitude and Silence)
O God, gather me now to be with you as you are with me.
Soothe my tiredness;
quiet my fretfulness;
curb my aimlessness;
relieve my compulsiveness;
let me be easy for a moment.
O Lord, release me from the fears and guilts which grip me so tightly;
from the expectations and opinions which I so tightly grip,
that I may be open to receiving what you give,
to risking something genuinely new,
to learning something refreshingly different.
O God, gather me to be with you as you are with me.
Amen.
3. READ Psalm 46, reminding yourself that by living under God’s protection (v1-3), in God’s presence (v4-7), and by God’s power (v8-9) brings you peace. Receive this peace, feel this peace, embrace this peace.
4. SIT in the stillness and silence of this refuge with God, aware of His presence. Be still and know He is God, that He is to be exalted. Don’t rush. Don’t force anything to happen, just continue sitting with God, spending time with God, being with God. As you sit in silence, pay attention to your inner being - your thoughts and emotions. Feel them, name them, express them as you sit with them and share them with God. As they arise, ask yourself what likes you are hearing or believing and how this is robbing you of the peace you find in God. How are these lies contradicting the truth of God’s Word about who He is and who you are in Christ? Then release your cares, your worries, and your fears to God.
5. When the alarm goes off, GIVE THANKS to God for this time together in His presence and this refuge of peace. And know that you cannot do this wrong. Feel free to simply sit and be with God. Enjoy this time, do not feel guilty for it!
LEG 2 (6/5-6/18)
READING
Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton
Chapter 2: Solitude - Creating Space for God
Invitation to Solitude and Silence by Ruth Haley Barton
Forward
Introduction
Chapters 1-5
REFLECTING
Reflect on the following questions regarding the reading, writing in your journal:
In the forward to Invitation, Dallas Willard quotes Blaise Pascal as saying that, “all the snappiness of man arises from the single fact that they cannot stay quietly in their room so they turn to diversions to distract themselves.” That’s a pretty bold statement! He goes on to say that even when we attempt to rest, we are confused and “aim at rest through excitement” - in other words, through more stimulation. How do you see evidence of this in our culture and in your own life? (I2SS, FWD - #1, p146)
If you have struggled with being able to have an extended time of silence each week of this session, what has hindered your attempt to honor this practice? What cares, concerns, worries, or distractions do you find you need to entrust more deeply to God in order to be more fully present with God in silence? What will you need to change for the remainder of the session to be able to enter into this time of uninterrupted silence? (SR, CH2 - p171-172), (I2SS, Intro - #3-4, p146), (I2SS, CH3 - #1-2, p149)
Is this extended time of silence you’re entering in to something you feel as though you have to do or something you desire to do? Be honest as this answer is simply between you and God. (SR, CH2 - p172)
Describe the last time you “had space to feel what (you were) feeling” (SR, p30). What was it about that experience that enabled you to truly feel? (think about the who, what, where, and when of the environment) How are these factors not normally present in your life, and how do they prevent you from truly feeling? (SR, CH2)
Ruth writes that “we’re busy trying to make stuff happen rather than waiting on God to make stuff happen.” (SR, p41) What square peg are you currently forcing into a round hole? How could you begin praying regularly for this item, patiently waiting for God to sand off the corners? How does the idea of patiently waiting on God for this make you feel in the moment? (SR, CH2)
Ruth writes in Invitation, “When we make room for silence, we make room for ourselves…the unknown, the untamed, the wild, the shy, the unfathomable.” (I2SS, p32) In short, we make room for God. We quite the noise so we can hear God. As you reflect on your times of silence over this session, how did you experience God with you (or not) in your times of silence and solitude? Is there anything God has finally been able to say to you in the quiet? (SR, CH2 - p171), I2SS, CH1 - #3, p147), (I2SS, CH2 - #4, p148)
What are some of the distractions you have encountered in the midst of silence? Think about those external distractions (other people, noises, etc) and internal distractions (thoughts, emotions, your body, etc)? How have you dealt with these distractions? Have some derailed your time of silence to the point you could not continue? (I2SS, CH2 - #2, p148)
Ruth writes that “exhaustion sets in when we are too accessible too much of the time.” (SR, p35) Identify one step you could put in place to establish a boundary that reduces your availability outside of your immediate household for a regular period of time. I would suggest sharing this boundary with both your immediate household as well as your formation group. (SR, CH2)
Where do you currently see yourself on the “dangerously tired” continuum? (p61) Do you recognize any of the symptoms (p58-60) of being dangerously tired? (I2SS, CH4 - #1-2, p149)
How do you feel about the idea of God asking you to pay attention to your body during times of silence and solitude? Have you considered the idea of caring for your body as a spiritual discipline? (NOTE: caring for the physical body God has gifted you is not the same as being obsessed with physical appearance) How might God be inviting you to listen to your body, rest your body, and honor your body as an aspect of spiritual formation? (I2SS, CH5 - #3-5, p150)
PRACTICING
At least 15 minutes of continues silence, once each week, using the above structure
LEG 3 (6/19-7/2)
READING
Invitation to Solitude and Silence by Ruth Haley Barton
Chapters 6-12
REFLECTING
Reflect on the following questions regarding the reading, writing in your journal:
In Chapter 6, Ruth writes about how it is one thing to rest the body, but quite another thing entirely to rest the mind. Describe a recent time when you were most aware of the unceasing nature of your mind’s work? When have you experienced the limits of your mind or “hit the wall of mental impasse” (I2SS, p73). (I2SS, CH6 - #1, p151)
In your time of extended silence this session, what is it you are beginning to see and hear in the stillness that you were unable to know in the noisiness and busyness of your mind? (I2SS, CH6 - p76)
In your times of extended silence this session, if you have had times where you did not hear God speaking or feel God moving, how did that feel? If you notice yourself becoming frustrated or impatient, ask yourself, “Am I willing to be patient with this thing that is unsolved in my heart? What would it look like for me to stop working so hard on this and trust God to work in His way and His time, knowing He is here with me?” (I2SS, CH6 - p76)
Ruth writes that, “The point of solitude is to be with God with what is true about me right now - whatever that is.” (I2SS, p79) What is something you are becoming increasingly grateful for or comfortable with as a result of your time with God? What is something you are noticing yourself possibly embarrassed or ashamed of? (IS22, CH7)
In one of your times of silence during this leg, read 1 Kings 19:1-19. Then when you are ready, hear God ask you the question he asked Elijah: “What are you doing here?” Sit quietly with that question, allowing it to penetrate all the way to the core of your being. How does it make you feel? More welcomed in His presence? Or as a nuisance or uninvited guest? Why is that? (I2SS, CH9 - p106-17)
Are you noticing yourself becoming more open, more vulnerable, and more honest with both yourself and God through silence and solitude? Or are you finding yourself still struggling with feelings of shame and guilt that make it difficult to be honest? (I2SS, CH9, p154) If it remains difficult, what truth about yourself do you need to face with courage and hand over to God (by the way, He already knows ;-)? (ISS, CH10, p155)
How has your practice of solitude and silence helped you to become more familiar with God’s voice (see p119)? Are you more in touch with that place deep inside where God’s Spirit witnesses with your own spirit about things that are true (Rom 8:16)? (IS22, CH11 - p156)
How are you beginning to experience the dynamic interplay between solitude and community as Bonhoeffer describes in Life Together? In what ways are you noticing you are dangerous in community when you are not practicing solitude? How are you experiencing solitude as being “for others”, making you safer and having more to give when you are with others in community? (IS22, CH12 - p157-158)
How have you experienced the danger of being in solitude without some kind of spiritual community? (IS22, CH12 - p158)
Get your bags packed for the retreat!
PRACTICING
At least 20 minutes of continues silence, once each week, using the above structure
PUBLISHED: Monday, May 15th, 2023
UPDATED: Thursday, June 8th, 2023, at 8:48PM - added Leg 3 reflection questions